Liz: Why are the ninja turtles fighting the bad guys? Why don’t they just call the police?

Me: *singing a song from Disneys ‘Frozen’ obnoxiously and mockingly*
Liz: Daddy…Daddy…DADDY! Please stop singing!
Me: Why?!
Liz: ‘Cause your singing is a terrible! Actually – I have an idea! Why don’t you sing inside your head so I can sing good instead.

*at bluesfest – Liz is on my shoulders watching Lady Gaga and there’s a brief moment of silence*

Liz: Daddy – I think there’s skunks that came to the concert!
Me: Yep….Those skunks…

Liz: I wanna be Lady Gaga when I grow up, and you can come and see me at a concert. You might not know it’s me though because I’ll be in a costume.

Liz: If bad guys come can you do your super kick? In their face?..huh?
Me: *laughing hysterically*
Liz: What’s so funny?

Liz: Wanna know how you say “tough bananas” in French?
Me: Sure.
Liz: “difficille bananes”
Me: Umm ok…
Liz: I thought you might want to know incase you want to tell me “tough bananas” one day. Now you can say it in French!

Me: I was thinking maybe tomorrow I could show you around the new neighbourhood.
Liz: That’s fine but…You better bring your money with you.
Me: Why?
Liz: Because it seems like a big waste of gas if you ask me!

Liz’s teacher gives me daily updates via email in French. I use Google to translate them. This was todays:

Hello,

I wanted to give you a brief report following our exit at Sainte-Marie. It was very difficult for your child to remain attentive and friendly especially during the celebration. I also told him that I gave the shop in question for next Monday so his behavior has disappointed me! I even eyebrows hurt from having made the big eyes!

Sorry for the bad news

Liz: What kind of truck is that?
Me: It’s a street sweeper, it cleans the –
Liz: Oh I know! It’s cleaning the road so when we fall we won’t get sand in our bo-bos right? That way it doesn’t hurt as much!

(using google maps on the iPad)
Me: Why have you been scrolling through the Arctic for a half hour? There’s nothing but snow there..
Liz: This is the Earth right?
Me: Yes..
Liz: I’m looking for Santas house..I know it has to be here somewhere.